“Today you are You, that’s truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You”
As a leader, it seems now more important than ever to lead by example, to be true to yourself, to lead with authenticity, vulnerability and action.
Leading in such a way brings legitimacy and honesty to your relations with your followers, ensuring an ethical and value-based foundation- a productive and creative workplace. In contrast, leading with uncertainty, perfection, lack of self-awareness, close-mindedness or falseness leads to a feeling of deception and lack of desire to serve, commit, be motivated or inspired.
Even in this time of volatility, we must still show the will to grow, to succeed, to move forward, to lead… particularly if we want the trust, commitment and connection of our team.
The question is what if we don’t feelthat way? What if we don’t feel capable of such leadership? I mean after all, we have an ego, a past, our own demons as well.
The answer is if you genuinely do not feel that you are a transparent, self-aware, fair-minded, moral leader… then it’s time to embrace your role, reset and strive for your best version of leader.
It’s important to continually hit the reset button as you grow into your ultimate leadership role. Holding on to things will hold you back. We all have our challenges and often they are held on to for too long – they become ‘our story’- when holding on to everything, it becomes really heavy. Giving ourselves permission to reset, to know that when you have a challenge, you can sit with it and then let it go… it’s vital and it’s something everyone can do. We can handle things better in small chunks and this is important to recognise as you move forward towards your goals and you continue to come across challenges. To reset is to make the conscious decision to, it does not have to be learned.
Leadership is a reflection of us, it is who we are, it is our ‘being’. A true leader embraces their role and allows it to be an extension of who they are at their core – whilst always striving for growth, for the desire to BE better. Some leaders feel that they need to HAVE more to be better – HAVE more support, more skill, more experience. This mindset can leave leaders perplexed as to why their employees don’t like them or trust them.
By focusing on the HAVE, (something we are yet to obtain) we are always wanting, yearning, seeking, not happy or present with the NOW.. and this can actually stop you from achieving greatness. “When I have enough support… then I’ll bring in that new project”
When we focus on the BEING, who you need to BE, then you begin to think and behave as if.
“Who do I need to BE, to ensure that project runs smoothly and I get maximum support”. You see, you then walk as ifyou are already that person in that role.
As you plan and commit to being the best leader you can, whether it be to reinvent or to enhance your current ability, following the idea to embrace who you need to BE, using the BE DO HAVE GIVE Model will ensure success.
The well-known BE DO HAVE principal refers to the attainment of success. As mentioned, it is where you first define who you want to BE, and then walk as ifyou are already that person in that role.
When we are clear on who we want to BE then we know what the first thing is that we need to DO in order to get the result that we are after (what we will HAVE).
The addition of the word GIVE is where the real fulfilment comes from… when we HAVE what we desire, we are able to more freely GIVE. When we GIVE, we instantly grow rich.
(Hint: This model also works by beginning with GIVE – What do I need to GIVE in order to have what I would like to HAVE (to achieve), so that I can DO what I would like in order to BE who I would like to BE.)
‘BE’, in this model, refers to who you need to authentically BE in order to make your goal happen. And this ‘beingness’ is something that we can all do RIGHT NOW. We can be anything we choose to be. What do I mean by that? I don’t mean I can go and be a professional swimmer right now. That simply won’t happen! What I’m talking about, is I can be the end result. When we say we want to BE something, it’s because we want to BE the end result – we want that feeling.We do things, we purchase items, we chase experiences because we want the feelingsthat it gives us… we want to BE that way.
To create your own version of success and determine who the best version of you will BE, we must look outside of what is ‘normal’. We need to look to the attributes that successful people demonstrate. What is it that they are doing differently, that is driving their success? This is called modeling. It is a form of learning through imitation. By observing someone else’s behaviour and choosing aspects that you aspire to and applying changes that match to your own behaviour, cognition or emotional state. Effective modeling comes down to viewing, reflecting and practice. When deciding on someone to model, consider what qualities you need to embrace and enhance within you to assist you moving forward.
The following two questions will give that starting point of knowing who you want to BE so you can begin doing what you need to DO and/or GIVE!
- LIST 3 PEOPLE WHO YOU ADMIRE AND CHOOSE TO MODEL, STATING WHY:
(Hint: you can model different traits in different people eg one for business management, one for people skills, one for wealth etc)
- BASED ON YOUR DECISION, WHAT ARE 3 THINGS YOU CAN STOP DOING RIGHT NOW? (that do not suit/fit in with this new way of ‘BEING’)
Moving forward to achieve your goals, work on telling yourself often “I am ………… (insert model/goal here)” and act ‘as-if’ until you get there. Remember when you truly try on the attributes that are needed to BE, then naturally, you’ll begin to DO something about it, to make it more real, more plausible, more YOU! Soon enough, you will HAVE what you are after and reallybe able to serve and GIVE back to your team.
If you feel you need more guidance and support developing your leadership skills for self or your team, please get in touch for a chat.